Monday, January 27, 2014

Becoming Converted

I've got a lot on my plate right now with school and life. 

Not a fun place to be in.  Normally I think I would be devastated with the news I've received about school and the struggles I'm having.

But as I walked outside to get the mail this morning, instead of being dejected, I let my mind drift over the blessings I've been given and was comforted. 

I am learning to accept and receive the comfort of the Lord.  It is enough.  Finally. 

Now that's not a reflection on the Lord so much as it is me.

At any rate, I'm being comforted now, and allowing myself to be comforted.  I'm finally relying on the Lord to be my strength. 

And not the emergency-type-reliance where I'm going "Dear heavens, pleas help me pass this test!" but as in, it is beginning to be where I turn regularly now.

Dejected day?  I get up and get dressed and find myself thanking the Lord for my covenants and their comfort.  I've never felt this way before.  No, not like this.

Not looking forward to today's work at school, but I turn to Ether and find comfort depending on how things go where the Brother of Jared says that perhaps the Lord will lead them away from the tower of Babel to a better place.  I certainly hope things work out with school but I never considered the story of the Brother of Jared a comfort until now in this or any other thing. 

I don't know what a full conversion looks like, but I do know that simply believing the Book of Mormon is true and thinking about it isn't going to save us but rather will condemn us ultimately - we have to be actively working out our own salvation. 

I'm just now learning what that means as well - it is what we are to work on every day, focus on preparing to meet God.  Remember our covenants, fulfill them, press forward in them, go forward through them, fulfill them, call on them, seek to understand them, study them - so much to do!

But I think I'm finally beginning to become....converted. 

I have much to work out and much to work on but now I know I can and I know that I am and a great comfort, perhaps the greatest of all.  Life has purpose, it isn't just to be endured.  No, the storms of life are to be faced with prayer and faith and by taking action with the Lord's help.

But I find myself rejoicing where previous I might have only found myself feeling beaten.  Truly, the Lord is working in my life as I understand these things. 

What an amazing day to be alive (though I could use some more sleep for sure).

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