I'm not the quietest person in the world. Neither do I always use soft answers in moments of frustration.
|colorful words that water, not wilt.....|
And unfortunately - or fortunately - well........that's not who I want to be.
I get very frustrated with life. Very And yet, I really want to be more like Jesus. But I got a mouth on me like a sailor. Well, actually, it is a sailor's mouth.
But I want it to be a prophet's mouth if I can.
I want to help things grow. I want to lift people up. And I don't think I can do that when I'm so insecure that simple things offend me or are a threat to me, or that I look at the world looking for flaws.....and can spew forth a fountain of cynicism disguised as "insight" and "judgement" with all the proficiency of a drill instructor for the US Military. I want to not just see opportunity around me, but not have frustration cloud my judgement and let things come out that could be better said.......
I've had strong opinions my whole life, I can tell you where they came from but that's not the point of this entry. But maybe all the things I've wanted to say on my opinions aren't the things that need to be said. Maybe my passion is misguided. Maybe I need to learn something different so I can speak better and be more effective in lifting up people around me and helping move things forward in peoples' lives.
I don't want to crush things with words. And unfortunately, I think I do. A lot. Maybe I need to step back. Maybe I need to pray before I speak. I'm being blessed and given a lot by the Lord right now....isn't that blessing enough to slow down and judge less harshly and speak the things the Lord would have me speak?
Just a lot to think about.
I hope you enjoyed the song. I'm sure you've heard it before, but listen to it again and hear what you didn't hear last time, feel something new in something old. It kind of captures a lot of what I'm feeling and thinking right now.
I'm going to be more careful beginning right now.....I have a lot to learn......