It is Finished.

When I took my exam for my counseling license, it turned out to be the hardest test I have ever taken,

even compared to Naval Nuclear Engineering - those tests could be upwards of four hours long, all math and physics, written or demonstrated.  A correct answer but your work does not add up to the answer you got?  Instant accusation of a lack of integrity: cheating.  A court martial or Captain's Mast was on the table, everything had to be perfect, all of the time, each time, every time, all the time, exactly the same.  

On this counseling test I got only partway through it and I knew I was failing.  

There was zero way I was passing this test.  

I looked at this and actually thought about it.  I went to stand up and hand in the test and call it quits to come back and study better and try another day because I had zero clue on what they were testing me on and none of it made any sense. Nothing here was anything I had studied.  

Flash back to the military police academy, the Master at Arms set a sailor up to fail again, another gunman popped up and I watched another police officer get shot.  Again.  

He dropped his gun as the assailant pumped a full magazine into his chest. 

Suddenly the Master at Arms started yelling at him about the "will to survive" and started screaming at him that he still had 21 rounds left, that until he was actually completely dead he was to keep fighting, buy the other sailors some time to get into position.  

He failed.  

The Master at Arms told him we were going to run the exercise again, and we were going to learn to never give up until we couldn't do anything else to keep going, even if it was using our body as a shield or to key a radio to buy time or pull a trigger and make noise as a decoy or to draw fire from others.  

"You're dead, set up another one." 

Again, and again, and again, we ran and ran until we learned not to quit and always keep going no matter what happened.  

On the practical side, I'm not that tall, I'm on the small side of the military's service-members and it seemed every Marine Infantryman had to test his Wheaties on one of the shortest sailors there was.  (I loved working with the Marines, they were America's Finest, though they are a really deadly bunch when drunk and feeling froggy, though you never took on just one sailor if you started anything, you'd have an entire bar or street jumping in with you so there was that as well). .

I never lost a fight.  Not once.  Never was touched.  I have been outnumbered and outgunned six to one and always walked away and turned the tables on every single fight I got into (I got smacked in the face once through a detention cell but that was a cheap shot and doesn't count).  It wasn't because I was good as much as I had learned not to be stupid or be overconfident and put myself in a bad position.  The job was dangerous.  I had seen nearly every sailor I worked with sent to the hospital for an injury at some point.

Being short(er) has its advantages.   I'm going to come up from underneath and you won't see it coming and you'll be off balance trying to get to my level and I've had to work hard my entire life to overcome everything anyways.  A lot of prayer helped, definitely.  

And now here I was having my rear end kicked by a test that was impossible I was passing.  

I have three children and I expect them to fight their way through things.  Now what was dad going to do?  Be beaten by a piece of paper?   I knew* I was failing, but I wasn't going to quit.  

A flash-back to a tire company working to pay for my mission, freshly out of the Navy with the tire guys yelling at me "C'mon Navy boy, let's see what you got!" and I was running out of sheer Navy Pride to not let those guys outrun me, even though I was dying. 

Back to the test.  

I decided to keep going and do my best and see what I could come up with.  I put my head down and tried even though none of this made sense. 

A few hours later I handed in my paper and waited for the notice: you failed. 

I stood there waiting for the inevitable.  

A moment later they told me, "Congratulations!  You passed!" 

"Wut....?" 

"You passed!" 

"No....way....there's zero way I passed that....." 

"Well, you did!" 

She looked excited for me.  I looked stunned and in disbelief.

I marveled and went outside, trying to ponder what had just happened.  What would have happened had I quit? 

I later received my scores.  I had apparently been given some new sample test that was being beta tested, and it had insane failure rate of ~80% failed that test.  

But by the time they did some complicated algorithms, I had actually managed to score in the top 1% of the United States nationally on my test.  

I pondered it all and its spiritual significance.  

Like our life, there's a time coming when we all have to turn in our papers, the test will be over, no more do-overs, no more erasures, no more explanations, just turn it in.  

But what happens when we quit testing early just because we think it's over?  

It's all a lie of the adversary, a deception to get us quit, telling us that we have failed or it's time to go or we can't make it.  The stakes of this game are real, high, and eternal and permanent.  You don't get another chance after this to do what you're doing now.  So, take a breather, get back in there, and keep going.  It's not over until it's over. 

And, most likely, you're doing better than you think.  I thought I failed and I was at the top of my curve and my game but never knew it.  Just keep going. 

The Savior did not quit, it was not until it was all over that he finally said "It is finished."  Those being crucified next to him, one told him to save himself and them, but the Savior remained.  He wished for his time to pass, but instead said "not my will, but thine be done."  We're here for a reason, now it's time to get into the fight and keep going until we're done and go do our best.  It's who we are and were born to be and were and are in all eternity.  We got a mission to finish and work to do, we are to keep going until we're done and not a moment before, keep fighting, keep trying, keep going, KEEP WINNING, even when we are "sure" we aren't. And if we aren't sure, or feel we're losing, it's time to hit our knees and go ask for help, and then get up and go again.  

It's time to go join our Savior.  Keep going until it - we - are finished with him.  Together.  

Getting Started in Your Own Small Business - Basic Steps

 Lessons I've learned from starting my own small business - THIS IS NOT an exhaustive, legally binding, all-encompassing post, these are just things that really jumped out to me that I wish I had known. My field is extremely specialized, and it's taken a ridiculous amount of time to do what I want.  But these are things that may not seem big but became big or I realized were bigger than I thought over time. 

1) Choose a unique business name - completely* unique - if you pick a name similar to everyone else, you may run afoul of trademark lawsuits.  If you use your name, or a mix of names, or made up names, depending on how big you get, you won't have to worry about a lot of things.  

2)  Check the US PTO website for other names in your industry to see if you're running into competition. 

3) Check your state's secretary of state business listings for other similar names so you aren't accidentally stepping on someone's toes. 

4) Once you get your business name chosen, you can register for a federal trademark - it will cost a few hundred, but will save you headaches in a world where "It's just business" as they try to run you out. 

5) Form an LLC or and S-Corp in the state your business is - can be free to a few hundred dollars, establishing where you are and what your business is - can be done on the secretary of state's webpage. 

6) Get an EIN - Employer Identity Number from the IRS.  

6) Get a bank account for your business - Chase Bank is really friendly to veterans, they waive all the fees for business for US Military Veterans.  Other banks may offer other perks. 

7) Get an electronic means of getting paid - I use Stripe Capital - for online sales. I used to use Paypal but the fees were adding up to be too much for the scale I began operating at.  You can look at having an electronic swiping machine, those may cost a subscription, other apps like Venmo and others may have restrictions or fees, it's nice to serve customers, but when you're running a business, at some point it's going to be a matter of time/energy and you'll want to focus on what you can do best, so you'll have choices to make and people will have to go with those. 

7) Design a logo - ChatGPT can help you design one but you better not steal anybody's work or look like anybody's work, make it completely unique and do some searching for it as well - register that as trademarked as well.  If it looks like anybody else's, you're going to be wrong. 

8)   Assuming you know what you're doing, get a banking software program for keeping your books - I like Quickbooks - use it to keep track of expenditures.  Learn how to account for your expenditures. 

9) Start saving immediately*** you'll need it.  Start setting money aside for taxes.  

10) Get insurance for your business - both professional, as well as physical, malpractice (if applicable) and what's the latest I heard?  Malicious advertising?  In case you get called into court on a trademark dispute. 

11) Avoid kicking the can down the road, if you have something that's a struggle, take the time to learn it the first time because it's easier to learn it once and never have to re-learn it and have the benefit of the knowledge, than to struggle with it repeatedly. 

12) Go to work, it's going to take more time, energy, effort than you ever imagined, but - freedom isn't just not having to worry about things, it's calling your own shots.  My business is a ton of work, but if I need extra cash I don't have to beg or hope my boss puts me in for more, I just work more and book more and bill more, and when I want down time, I schedule accordingly.  

13) LIVE - but always be preparing for the future, don't just live to work and work to live, start preparing from the beginning.   

14) Do what you love, and be good at it.  Always* be ethical, always* be honest, always* do what's right, because you'll get bit in the assets if you don't, it will snag you and catch up to you, and dedicate some time to helping people for free and donating to the community, never compromise your values, always do a gut-check.  

You Must Ask the Right Question...That Is the Right Question.

One of the marks of Jewish society and teaching was an ability to ask the right question, so that questions were as much a mark of enlightenment as they were a step and progress relating to spiritual growth. 

 However, we need to not make the mistake of you young rich man who asked what he must do to inherit eternal life, and then "how readest thou" was the response, which he answered that he read all the scriptures and knew and kept the commandments, and then was told "This do, and thou shalt live."  

Jesus Teaching as a Young Boy in the Temple

The Jews today still maintain this tradition of learning and questioning today. 

There isn't a soul alive who hasn't asked heaven a question if they've been alive long enough.  At some point we all have questions, and we will all say prayers.  But, as most of us have found the heavens may be quiet silent on about any topic we might ask - from "What is the meaning of life" to "Please help me pass this test."  It seems much of humanity stops at this point when no outpouring of wisdom is showered down with the resultant conclusion is that there is no God, or he doesn't answer questions. 

I have learned that heaven progresses on "Line upon line, precept on precept."  

Meaning, most of us aren't ready for what heaven has to show us, and the nature and laws of God regarding our progression and purpose are such that they can't show us, until we are ready. 

So what's the catch? 

As we learn in Doctrine and Covenants 9, when attempting to exercise the gift of seership, Oliver Cowdery was taught: 7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

The Lord further instructed him: 8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right...

The Lord did not say he would not give him, but the works of God - His mysteries and truths - aren't just to be for the asking, they carry weight, responsibility, require insight and effort because as was noted in the Garden of Eden, such wisdom and knowledge had an eternal effect: 22 ¶ And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil (Genesis 3). 

The requirement is: You must ask the right question.  It does not good to ask questions about calculus when we haven't even understood algebra.  

Now, we need not lose hope when we do not feel we know the right answer, because we can also ask for that as well just as James 1:5 teaches us, that if you lack wisdom, ask of God.   

We can even ask what question to ask so that we might ask and enlightened, purposeful question.

 But we also have to learn to listen.  The Lord starts us off with a beginner concept of a type of 20 questions, where you ask a yes/no type question and the Lord will let you know if it is right.  

However, asking the question and getting an answer alone is not enough. 

We are required to live the knowledge gained: If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine (John 7:16).  

We cannot simply ask God a question and consume the answer upon our lusts, knowledge and wisdom are precious gifts from heaven, we have to demonstrate our gratitude for those things by living them when receiving them, and seeking to become like God - not using him to simply navigate our way through a bunch of problems we cause ourselves and others while regarding the Lord's truths for personal gain and convenience.  They are given to help us become like Them.  

So the key is not only asking the right question, but for the right purpose.   And when you have honed your spiritual abilities to where you can not only ask but also recognize, receive, and apply it, then, you can become as the young boy Jesus and progress back to Heavenly Father coming to know what they do.  

Standing Tall Among Both the Wheat and the Tares

I'm a convert to the church.  

I'll never forget learning about the concept of a temple recommend and being worthy to enter the temple.  It seemed like such a high goal having never had one, needed one, or even heard of one - to say I did not feel like I fit in would be an understatement. 

After I joined the Navy, I didn't fit in there either - in part because I was a member of the church and was striving tot keep church standards.  I found myself visiting a Catholic Chaplain and I will forever be grateful to the man as he told me while I was struggling: "Can I give you a bit of advice?" 

"Sure, I'll take anything at this point." 

"Lighten up, son. You're in the Navy now.  This isn't going to get any better.  You're getting ready to go to war and you're going to be relying on them, and they are going to be relying on you and if you let these things get between you, you're not going home.  My best advice?  Learn to laugh and not take things so seriously, use a bit of humor to cope." 

In the mission field I didn't fit in either - I had just finished four and a half years active duty in the military and I had learned to push it beyond what anybody in the mission field thought was humanly possible and our numbers showed it (I was so proud of my greenie, he quadrupled the work in one of the big cities all by himself - we were breaking every record possible).  But, regardless of my numbers, I didn't fit in there either.  It seemed I was about made for the doorstep to tract and that was it.  

After graduating from graduate school, our family moved from the super-liberal Portland area (which was where we were from and in a city that celebrated diversity, we always found our religous values accepted and tolerated despite that extreme disparity between the cultural norms and gospel principles and values). We were all excited as a family to finally go be with the saints in a town we couldn't believe had so many chapels so close to each other, less than a few blocks in one case, and a couple miles in others.  There were so many!!! 

But it came to pass that there was a culture here that long preceded our move, deep within the community and congregations - unseen and unrecognized to outsiders and only recognizable after anything different from the opinions of those long-established became apparent.  

To be fair, this is nothing new, not here, not in Catholicism where I came from, not in any other small towns - it's pretty typical.  You get anyone anywhere long enough, communities and people get set in their ways. It doesn't at all change the fact that this is the Lord's only true and living church upon the earth and that it has been restored in the last days, it just means we have imperfect people and a lot to struggle through (it could be worse, could be Nauvoo circa the 1840's, which I fully anticipate in not many years on a lot of different fronts). 

I have to thank my Brethren of the Twelve for helping sustain me or encourage me in some of the worst opposition I've ever faced in my callings that I just wasn't all that thrilled at going to church.  The opposition became so challenging that I honestly asked myself if I was going to remain a member of the church. As Peter asked though, where else is there to go?  A question I think we all have to ask and answer for ourselves at some point and most likely several times on our mortal journey. This is the right place. 

 As my friend, the apostle Jeffrey R. Holland said, "With one exception, imperfect people are all the Lord has ever had to work with.  I'm sure its very frustrating to Him but He deals with it."  

 I've had my heart broken by challenges in this gospel - but we're still here.  It doesn't change the fact that the church is a living and true church, we're not exempt from challenges and we need not think only the Savior or the Prophets have to pass through the tumult that come with human weakness - our own or those of others.  We have to remember the Lord has said he would try our faith.  And here we are.  

So what have I learned? 

I have/am learning that I am and have, in fact been, guided by the Holy Ghost through all of this. I know those Apostles and our Prophet are who and what they say they are, I've met them including the current president of the church.

And I know all our trials are going to be over someday. 

I just hope I can learn to handle my own challenges in such a way that my own behavior or weaknesses don't become an excuse for someone else leaving the church.   Though I have had to remember that the Lord said "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." 

I know many will be offended when we stand up - both in and out of the church - and I know a lot is getting ready to change, and we're gaining a lot, and we're going to lose a lot before this world wraps up. But in the end we only want to stand steady and be found doing what's right, swayed not by popular opinion or religious culture but by our Heavenly Father - to be the wheat amidst the tares, to be a sheep, to strive to be found on His right hand at the end.  

Horses! Horses Horses Horses!

Shortly after my conversion I spent a lot of time in the military reading the anti literature (or anti-the-church-of-Jesus-Christ-of-Latter-Day-Saints, hereafter referred to simply as "anti") against the church.  I read it all.  I went to a "Christian" bookstore in the mall near the military base I was stationed at and they had a section called "Cults" with all the books against the church and any other faith they considered fringe or apostate.  

I sat down in the corner for weeks and months reading everything they had, with the anti books in my left hand and the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price and King James Bible in my right. 

Every single claim against the church fell into one of three categories (all of which are skewed):

1) Skewed history - mostly rumors, little documented history.

2) Factually incorrect - for example, quotes were made up and attributed to the scriptures - outright lies saying that the church said or taught things it does not / did not teach and I could find it in the scriptures and see it with my own eyes, or quotes from leaders that are just not true.

3) Taken out of context - many things against the church were sensationalized, there was some kernel of truth somewhere in there, but motives or surrounding circumstances were always incorrect. 

I finally put all the books down and stopped reading, informed the store their books were incorrect, but was done researching or giving time to the opposition at that point.  

Ever since then I've noticed that all of the anti literature is a recycling of one of those three themes/methodologies (with a fourth as a subset of #3 - irrelevant minutiae that aren't a central feature to the church's progress and which may be naturally expected in any course of any human events and discarding a big picture) .  

And suffice it to say, on nearly every "controversial" question (controversy is more a matter of a crowd's and public response rather than a basis in fact - to God there are no controversies, that's purely a man-made issue, more a product of group-think and individual incapability) I have found Joseph Smith to have been proven correct over and over again on nearly every point (see following paragraphs).  

Obviously I have my testimony that this is the Lord's restored gospel, and my testimony is not reliant on external facts or evidence beyond what it does for my life and how I hear the Lord, but the external presentation of facts and academia is also important in our world and something we have to be able to account for - or should be able to - in sharing the gospel with our friends and family or even before the world.  

However, there are and were things that I could not account for because either it has not yet been revealed, or we simply do not have enough knowledge, but given his track-record and the answers I have from the Lord these will be undoubtedly proven correct as well in time.  I've put my own questions to rest.  

However, as an academic who has an advanced degree in the social sciences, I am very familiar with epistemology or the study of how-you-know-something and to make a case professionally within the sciences and how to present and prepare for a peer review.  

Labraea tar pit horse skeleton

Most of my profession is about being aware of what you do not know and being able to demonstrate you took it into account - which is what makes so much of the anti literature so concerning; it is not that there is anti literature, but that the anti literature is a symptom and reflection of our own capabilities/incapabilities as a society.  Most of the anti literature takes an absolutist stance and makes no allowance for a difference of opinion, 

All of this brings me to the issue of horses in the Book of Mormon.  Anyone who has been around the church for any length of time has heard this assertion/claim: There were no horses in America before the Spaniards. ALL horses came from the Spaniards.  Anything else is false.  All else is false.  Nothing, no exceptions, no other possibilities. Clearly Joseph Smith made it all up. 

I'm not an expert on horses and I won't pretend to be one here, but I will share what I have recently found and learned. 

1) The story of no-horses-in-the-book-of-Mormon has been around long before I found the gospel a third of a century ago, it's been recycled forever.  

2) The Labraea Tar Pits excavations were discovering horses beginning around 1913 and discovered a type of phehistoric horse that's been believed to be extinct for some time.  

That fact right there has been around - at this point - for more than a century, but has never been considered in any of the literature or introduced should raise serious concerns about our public, academic discourse on this and any other number of subjects.  

The short of it being the epistemological question of: what else do we not know and what has not been publicly shared as a part of the public discourse? (There was also a time when the earth was thought to be the center of the universe and to think otherwise was blasphemy or considered a threat to civil society's order). 

Other things I recently learned/found:  

Cortez only brought 16 horses with him and the Spaniards only brought mares - no males, so no reproduction. 

The Spaniards, including Cortez kept a meticulous inventory of horses because they were the most valuable of their military equipment - humans could be replaced and trained as soldiers easier than horses.  They weren't losing these by any extreme amount.  

Horses also had a lot of difficulty being brought over the ocean.  The earliest record of European horses being brought over was by Cortez about 1519. 

Horses have a very slow reproduction rate.  You can produce one horse ready for breeding - if you're fortunate - in about 3 years at the fastest from pregnancy to being able to mate.  

In Jamestown horses were recorded as being a public nuisance because there were so many - Jamestown began in 1607.  Cortez landed in central Mexico about 80 years prior and ~2,000 miles apart. 

Natives on the west coast (Blackfoot) as having horses as early as 1754, and several native tribes report the horse has been a part of their history for nearly 2,000 years with words for it long pre-dating the Spanish arrival. 

It is simply impossible for all of the horses and historical accounts of them on this entire continent spread as far as they have been to be accounted for as coming from the Spanish in the short time and with the limited numbers that were brought here. 

At any rate, a testimony of the Book of Mormon is not built / cannot be built on horses, the Labraea Tar Pits, or any other trivial matter, but there's a lot that cannot simply be accounted for with our current popular narratives that we use in our society and history that profess to "disprove" the Book of Mormon, or Joseph Smith.  

My own testimony could be summed up with this: 

10 And now, my beloved brethren, and also Jew, and all ye ends of the earth, hearken unto these words and believe in Christ; and if ye believe not in these words believe in Christ. And if ye shall believe in Christ ye will believe in these words, for they are the words of Christ, and he hath given them unto me; and they teach all men that they should do good. (2 Nephi 33:10). 

We have a lot more to discover, but if we're waiting on science and the public discourse for our faith to be justified, I think we're going to be waiting a while and we just don't have that amount of time.  

My suggestion?  If you are at all interested in truth, go study and ask God in the name of Jesus Christ if those things are true and He will manifest the truth of it to you by the power of the Holy Ghost. 

A Great Apostasy Foretold

Apostasy is nothing new, not in this world at any rate.  It has been a struggle since the beginning of time and a condition of mortal agency and a fallen and telestial world. When Adam gathered his posterity at Adam Ondi Ahman before he passed away, the scriptures note only a residue of the people - those who were righteous.   It was some time before Noah's flood that only 8 people were saved alive by water. 

The only time we see apostates acknowledge they were wrong is just before/at their conversion.  But otherwise we see both sides assert they are correct and it is the other side that is deceived. 

The wheat and the chaff must grow together, side by side to full maturity.  

One lesson we learn from the Book of Mormon is the allegory of the olive trees, how precious the Lord's trees/fruit/families were to him and the great pains he took to save as many as he possibly could.  Nobody on this earth is beyond saving at this point until we pass through the veil.  So when we're experiencing opposition, it must be because the Lord has a purpose in allowing it to continue. 

We read in Alma 17 about the believer's in Christ's coming being burnt alive and that the Lord said to Nephi that they were not to stop it by the power of the priesthood because the Lord was receiving the righteous to himself, and the wicked were being let condemned. 

 Even the Savior Himself was betrayed and was abandoned.  

 Consequently, if we're still facing challenges, it is for a reason.  When we're getting away with something, or think we are, it's also for a reason - either to give time to repent, or time to condemn ourselves. 

There's all sorts of things happening in the world - we're going to see more on all sides, both in and out of the church, but when we are faced with challenges...we shouldn't be surprised, we just need to be sure we're in the right or striving to be right - "Oh be wise, what can I say more?" (Jacob 6:12).